those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
