Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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