gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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