I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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