She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
