Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
im drinking this country out of the recession.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
is that a dick in a sweater?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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