I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
we're so committed to being not committed
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
