Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
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Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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