he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She bit a glass in half.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
