so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
