Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize