People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
