let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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