I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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