Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize