she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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