...so i touched it.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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