We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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