his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
