You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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