i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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