Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
