i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
