he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
