Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I yelled at your uterus for you.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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