i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
