now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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