I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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