that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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