She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
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Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
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The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
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