Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
