His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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