Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
