Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
