...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
