We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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