So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
