Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
