Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
