I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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