i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
