new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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