Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
