it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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