Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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