Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
