i barfeds in our rink
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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