Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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