So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
