Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
