It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
