2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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