Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
