she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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