Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
