I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
