Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize