Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I've blown a few things in my day
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Congratulations! We have a period
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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