Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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