i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
