just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
