Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
