His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
