Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
