I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
