Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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