he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
my poor anus
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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