Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.