Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful