i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
FUCK WHALES
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